Tag Archives: Humour

Chuckle

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Its been a while since I considered WoW and thats not going to change soon – however I came across a wow’er’s blog which discussed the early levels and couldn’t resist this old bad joke. Happy travels folks.wow_deadr

The Offensive Shieldwall Operation

Aside

kek. Somewhat silly and irrelevant – while pondering the names of the new daily quest faction content it appeared in my brain that there are a few odd variations to have fun with. You might have to be a little loopy to enjoy this:

  • The Offensive Operation
  • Operation Dominance
  • The Dominance of the Offensive Shieldwall Operation, which cannot be denied.

It all sounds a little like a special evening event at the boutique bondage and discipline house-of-ill-repute. Collect those tokens for an extra lashing! At least they chose ShieldWall which I can’t do too much damage with.

I blame a lack of sleep due to crying babies, tired parents, and the holiday season. More is the pity that no alcohol or fine food was involved. Shameful.

Also silly, but cleverer by half is Penny Arcade’s commentary on WoW as played by moms eight years after the initial jump (comic url). PA are brilliant, colour me a fanboy.

(thou shalt wolves and grind valor!) Strange days.

Bad Guild Apps

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We see guild apps now and then without knowing the person beforehand; and there have been a few more since the guild got to 6/7 in Firelands. Often I am reading this:

Basically skilled player with too many alts, seeks 9 or 24 other people to carry me through the content until I have either too much homework, a girlfriend, or am grounded.

I prefer communication via chat, and won’t talk on vent unless you’re into lowbrow dick jokes. Given how wonderful my mother thought I was until I reached puberty, I reserve the right to ninja the loot I want, and bitch if not taken on raids, granted loot, or if the guild’s female members don’t reciprocate my clumsy flirting enough with me.

Please have no other high maintenance players.

My plan is to get geared up via your runs. Please also change your Wednesday raid night to Thursday, as that better fits around my schedule.

regards,

Lolazorin, Champion of the Murloks

Based of a comment I made at Matticus blog. Happy recruiting.

Cata as a Gift

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The Cataclysm release date has been confirmed as Tuesday 7th December. Now the interesting and totally self serving thing about this is that it is also my birthday, so I’m really pleased. Thank you Blizzard for the thought, such a wonderful gift.  I’d hate to think of how the scale of this gift could be topped, – kidding.

But I have a issue: How am I meant to be playing the expansion (or downloading the last patch and waiting) on my birthday when my partner and family probably expect me to be talking to them that day?

Well the reality is that we will all be patching that day, and that Tuesday will probably mean more like Wednesday or Thursday. So as long as (a) it all goes smoothly, (b) I can get online, and (c) I can create a reasonable build; it will be a great birthday week.

“Cataclysm includes the best content we’ve ever created for World of Warcraft. It’s not just an expansion, but a re-creation of much of the original Azeroth, complete with epic new high-level adventures for current players and a redesigned leveling experience for those just starting out,” – Mike Morhaime

It is safe to say that I am very excited, even if you ignore the hype and flashy improvements there is still a lot of new and strange things to explore. I expect we will see a return of some players to the game due to this in the short term.

Happy hunting.

O.o (non-wow)

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Being a PM for a website development company, we get all sorts of requests. This is closer to madness that I am used to.

I had a maintenance email from a client who wants us to update a page in their website. Part of the task is to update a link to a new Pdf, which she said was attached to her email.

I open the email and she has attached a Word doc with an embedded image of the pdf, which is open on her desktop. Yep, she viewed the pdf, took a screenshot, pasted it into Word, saved, and sent it to me.

O.o

not-a-pdf

Screenshot it, or it didn’t happen…

Not sure if I should change the link from the old Pdf to the new screenshot. I’m not even sure how I wrote the “you forgot the pdf” email back to them without snarkyness. One challenge at a time.

80 Reasons you’re not Hardcore

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With the posts and comments about who is and is not level 80 (thank you Ghostcrawler and others), I’m feeling like a slacker again. Normally I’d have a crafty reason for being 74, but its just life at the moment. So much to do at this time of year.

This little issue is much like most rants and opinions spread around the internet – some folks like to be awesome, and others want to share the word about why they are not. Its a storm in a tea-cup, that needs some sarcasm.

Here is (the start of) 80 reasons you’re not level 80:

  1. you lost your authenticator at the last Trek conference, and the wow subscription is in Mum’s name
  2. the introduction of Death Knights has made you an Alt-a-holic
  3. you used all your ISP download quota on BitTorrent on the 3rd season of Dexter
  4. girl/boy friend acquired, or returned to town (screenshot it or it didn’t happen)
  5. warlock keyboard facerolling does not work since v3.0
  6. or you finally rolled a Warlock for the Subby pet, or a female Blood Elf and now just stare drooling at the screen
  7. just trying to to get exalted with Cenarion before leaving Zangamarsh
  8. budget can’t stretch to pay for Wrath after all the ales and wenches
  9. account hacked! all humour aside, I feel for you
  10. suspended due to ass-hat forum comments! I hate you, re-roll hello kitty now
  11. you’ve stopped to smell the roses (level slowly), and got hayfever
  12. developed a new phobia where you can’t ding a level which is not a prime number
  13. still looking for a healer for normal Ramparts, Nexus, or anything
  14. spent all your time reading blogs and not actually playing
  15. confused and intimidated by the new gear, so instead playing in Goldshire where its safer (well safe-ish, unless you count requests for 1st floor private encounters)
  16. several friends just signed up to WoW and now you’re a high level steamroller to help then powerlevel
  17. you can’t consider another MMO until you defeat the Fashion Derelict Boss in Barbie Online, and get your hairstyling skill to 450
  18. Spent all your time WRITING blogs and not actually playing
  19. Wasted time compiling your WoW Code because of TyphoonAndrew*
  20. Actually read quest texts rather than just hitting accept and looking at QuestHelper*
  21. Find reading Jame’s Leveling Guides more interesting than actually leveling yourself*
  22. Wasted time coming up with 6 more reasons I’m not hardcore*
  23. Noticed that TA lists your blog as pally-specific, wonder whether you should do anything about it and what* (hmm, ty Gwaendar – I’ll fix that. The Twisted Nether list has me in general, and a Paladin Tank used to be my main)
  24. you consider love > work > games, which is also why the guys at the chess association have stopped counting on you for midnight games
  25. in your industry the silly season is all about stupid deadlines and even stupider clients. silly indeed
  26. the Deeprun tram is the only instance you need for your hardcore gameplay. never mind what the final boss looks like
  27. the optimal build for AH farming only requires level 1 (and a few mods, and the patience of a stone)

I thought it would be horrid to make a list of the reasons you’re not 80, but its kind of fun. So feel free to add a few if there are tounge in cheek reasons I’ve missed.

I’ll add more as I think of them, send them in (marked with a * next to them)!

Strange Hunter Thoughts

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I don’t get hunters, but I do like what they do. Jez plays one, and I think the nutty animal obsessed nature is sinking in (they are cute, but they’re no demons). While we were chatting about the weekend’s round up, I started considering a few cosmetic changes to some aspects of the class.

1. Make pets run away and fade, and run in when summoned. They are animals and I guess part of the Hunter “magic” allows them to be summoned. Kinda like the Silver in the Lone Ranger, or the magical Horses in Tolkien.

I suppose in the same breath people will say that all sorts of entry and exit, dismount, summon, and sequence animations might be handy; and yep – its a pipe dream, but I like to dream.

2. Give them more pet options. It seems strange that Warlocks get a diverse small group of pets, but Hunters can only have a few at a time. Hunters have far more optional diversity in their pets than Warlocks, but I’m not sure anymore that the balance is right. Give them a extra stable slot, and we might see some extra diversity from our Hunter friends.

Then again we might see hunters with an extra cat, so they get the other one that is cute too (*ducks for cover*).

3. How do Hunters heal their pets? Is it based on +healing, +nature, or just a flat figure? I simply don’t know, so would be interested to find out. A Warlock’s shadow damage helps with our demonic healing, which makes sense (more shadow power means better manipulation of Shadow), but what is the rationale behind healing a pet at range. Its certainly not bandages, and I really don’t want to start a discussion about the application of +dam/heal/spell on other abilities; just know what the entry level logic is.

4. I also asked a dumb question this week: Q. Does it hurt fluffy when you stuff him in your bags? A. Laughter…., as they are dismissed just like Warlock pets. Hey, I’m a lock; your fur fetish is not something I’ve taken interest in before.