Hate: Constantly moving tanks

Today’s post is a little rant to get something off my chest: Tank moving mobs too much. I hate it. A lot.

Recently in a LFD run the tank was constantly moving the creatures. Now I don’t mean slowly moving them in a reverse circle to gather them up (bears do this, it makes sense), or a tank moving so that nothing is flanking them. Or even adjusting because shitty dps don’t know not to stand in front while the baddies cleave or use flame breaths – I mean constant changing where they stand randomly.

This idiot tank walked forwards, backwards, and sideways through the monster’s hit box so that both he and mobs needed to switch facing all the time. The entire fight against multi-mobs, he walked around constantly. Showing his flank to the mobs, switching around, even bloody jumping from time to time. It was like watching a pvp battle. What made it funny (in a sad way) is that he totally ignored the two melee asking him to stay still. That request just seemed to make him spin and dance more, which made the fights longer, and I suspect he took some serious damage from it too. Yup, an idiot.

I don’t get it, and think its a sign of a bad tank and a player who does not understand the mechanics of tanking.

The tank tip: Gather the melee baddies so they are all in your face, none behind you, and preferably all your team are behind them. ie:

(Tank)–> <— (Angry mobs) <— (melee) <— (healers and range)

This way the melee can hit from behind happily, you can see when the mobs move away, your healers are protected by the melee, and nobody has to move anywhere. All cleaves and spells will only affect the Tank.

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More creative and consistent names

Aside

Update: As this was published I noticed that the patch 4.3 name rules have changed too:

North American realms (excluding Brazilian, Latin American, and Oceanic realms) no longer permit letters with accents in character or guild names. Existing character and guild names with special characters will be unaffected by this change.

How many times have you seen these type of names?

Ãrthás, Ægigbird, ìcemage, lololas, undeaddeath, or ikillsunow. Iamatank (who is dps), pvpggodd, or any darn name which uses a keyboard crushing special character. It is a short step to bigtool7 as a character name, and most of the examples above are from actual toons.

Moons ago I wrote a small blogpost about naming a Death Knight, as at the time the Wrath expansion was announced but not released, and players were creating and reserving names left and right. It was done as a PSA type post so that (I hoped) the wow population would have less silly and unpronounceable names.

How’d that go? I saw no direct affect; but then didn’t really expect to see a major shift. I was more just standing on my soapbox yelling at the world (now we have twitter for that, and bloggers have multiple avenues to shout about the things that frustrate them)…and shitty names still frustrate me.

The characters like “Bloodelfdk” are still happily jumping around in WoW, and it seems that players are keen to use every special keyboard character they can when re-using names. I guess that won’t change much either.

It would be interesting to see an MMO which prohibited these type of names more, and if that rule had a significant affect on the player base. Would a restriction such as that hinder the growth of the game?

Take the SW-ToR game coming in December – can I create a character called DarthVedar? Hanssolo? Chewiebacka? Aaanakin?

These names are just as silly as Arthaaas and all the rest based on the Warcraft lore, and as ToR is based on story arcs and events, it seems something they might wish to consider – especially if the NPCs will be using the character names in some way:

Npc: The elderly noble rises from his ornate throne and says “We hail PrincisLayher, you efforts to force back the Imperial troops were a boon to my people. What would you ask of me as reward?”

Player: “dude epix, lol”

Npc: …{shakes head}

It breaks the story, and makes me a little sick just thinking of it.

OK what to do:

  1. Valid Random Names – The random name generator in the character creation screen should not show you names that are in use. It frustrates me that a name is shown, might actually be useful, but is not available. As an armchair programmer this does not seem to be a huge issue, the list could be updated on batch, and then re-checked every day to ensure the error rate would be low.
  2. Prohibit special characters – I know this affects some legit European names, but then you’re not playing yourself in Second Life, you’re playing Warcraft. Names like Redhand are far more lore worthy than Phîlll. And yup, it would wreck a huge amount of current character names, but hey – I hate those names so on this point I’m going to be inconsiderate of those players.

Bad Guild Apps

We see guild apps now and then without knowing the person beforehand; and there have been a few more since the guild got to 6/7 in Firelands. Often I am reading this:

Basically skilled player with too many alts, seeks 9 or 24 other people to carry me through the content until I have either too much homework, a girlfriend, or am grounded.

I prefer communication via chat, and won’t talk on vent unless you’re into lowbrow dick jokes. Given how wonderful my mother thought I was until I reached puberty, I reserve the right to ninja the loot I want, and bitch if not taken on raids, granted loot, or if the guild’s female members don’t reciprocate my clumsy flirting enough with me.

Please have no other high maintenance players.

My plan is to get geared up via your runs. Please also change your Wednesday raid night to Thursday, as that better fits around my schedule.

regards,

Lolazorin, Champion of the Murloks

Based of a comment I made at Matticus blog. Happy recruiting.

How to define Tradechat?

A brief definition of Tradechat:

Like watching a Lord of the Flies movie if it was rebooted by the creator of the Human Centipede teamed up with Uwe Bol, and then sent to William Burroughs to fix the continuity.

Trade chat today was dreadfully rude, and I think we’ll see new levels of disgusting and vile in the lead up to Cata release, then an unholy mess in the first few weeks. Trolls will return like everyone else, and the feeding frenzy of shuddering verbal grime will come with them.

Like a train wreck, sometimes you just have to look…even just to be reassured that there are a huge amount of sick people out there, who are thankfully at home indoors (and probably in the basement).

Public Forums using Real IDs

This is a very bad idea. I’m wearing a tin foil hat as I type, but this does have very far reaching implications.

I cannot see the value to players, and frankly cannot see why it would benefit the community either.

Maybe the younger generation are more open to this? But maybe those very same young people are not life-skilled enough to realise what the risks are.

This has massive potential for abuse and issues, and this is so bad that I think nothing short of hundreds of pages of posts will make any impact. So post now, and often. I think we need to deafen Blizzard with the bad feedback. It will hopefully be overturned by somebody with half a brain at Blizzard.

For those who said Real ID was a slippery slope; which was opening pandora’s box – you were right.

I don’t think we are at the end of that slope yet either.

Conspiracy Theory: They make a suggestion so stupid, that the community implodes; then they retract it. Next they make a smaller change, and can cite the earlier as an example of listening to teh client base and also making the 2nd action seem small by comparison.

Quick haiku and random thoughts

Some random creative lines that are running through my head. Some if this is warcraft-ish, some just observational. The further you read the less responsibility I take for your sanity and my writing. [rant inc]

Conan
Barbarian slave,
sunders a raging horde,
never to find peace.

unrelated to…

Proudly she walks on,
while adversity abounds.
I stand still amazed.

And lastly something that makes even my sense of sarcasm twinge with political incorrectness: I was chatting in guild a few days ago about the definition of wife. Its one of those guild chat conversations that stays borderline polite, but we’re taking the piss out of each other. When one guys says something like obviously you don’t know the definition of w.i.f.e.

I didn’t know what he was talking about so used the google:define tool to look it up. The 8th result was:

define: wife = A lady who said “I will” and has done so ever since.

…I did warn you. That is just mean. I bet she would say far worse things about her husband. Or perhaps her ex-husband. Reminds me of the Devils Dictionary, as that is pretty subtle.

3 Stories, 1 Night, Much Swearing

A few days ago I had a day of WoW that was like playing Snakes and Ladders. Here are the three stories that made up another “learning experience”.

Story One: The BF PuG that couldn’t.

Cast: My Tankadin, Hunter-1, Huntard-2, SPriest-DC, Priest-Heals, Mage-Gone.
Started the night with a Heroic BF run.
– I pop into LFG and get messaged to see if I’m a tank and up for a BF run. Well as its the daily, so of course I say I’m keen, and I join group.
– Upon join we have Tankadin, 1x Hunter and a Heal and Shadow Priest. For BF thats not ideal as they have reduced AoE, but thats not an issue if we keep on the game. Having me as AoE tank is the real cheat mode for BF, so we’ll be OK.
– We are one dps short, but that should be easy to fill. I jump into LFG and start looking.
– The Huntard says he needs 10 minutes before we start, and his mate will join us. OK, free DPS is good, and 10 minutes is not a train wreck.
– Leave LFG
– So we wait, the time passes and finally after 15 minutes we have a new player. A mage. Well he pops in, asks a few questions and we get rolling.
– Summon everyone.
– Summon one of them again, as they are not ready.
– Except the SPriest disconnects, so we wait.
– Then SP is back, so we zone in.
– And the SPriest disconnects, and we wait.
– All on, and buffed, so I check in chat that everyone is ready.
– OK good, mark, and first pull.
– Skull and X make a quick beeline for me and start swinging. Nobody else has moved, Hunter then sends in Pet and Mage starts damage. Healer does sweet fuck all, and I go down due to 2000, 2000, 6000, 2000, 2000, plus some other hits. Dead tank. Group makes for the door.
– Priest survives and we get res’ed.
– Take two is better, I use a Sheep mark and the Mage does a perfect sheep. We drop them no sweat. Continue reading