80 Reasons you’re not Hardcore

With the posts and comments about who is and is not level 80 (thank you Ghostcrawler and others), I’m feeling like a slacker again. Normally I’d have a crafty reason for being 74, but its just life at the moment. So much to do at this time of year.

This little issue is much like most rants and opinions spread around the internet – some folks like to be awesome, and others want to share the word about why they are not. Its a storm in a tea-cup, that needs some sarcasm.

Here is (the start of) 80 reasons you’re not level 80:

1. you lost your authenticator at the last Trek conference, and the wow subscription is in Mum’s name
2. the introduction of Death Knights has made you an Alt-a-holic
3. you used all your ISP download quota on BitTorrent on the 3rd season of Dexter
4. girl/boy friend acquired, or returned to town (screenshot it or it didn’t happen)
5. warlock keyboard facerolling does not work since v3.0
6. or you finally rolled a Warlock for the Subby pet, or a female Blood Elf and now just stare drooling at the screen
7. just trying to to get exalted with Cenarion before leaving Zangamarsh
8. budget can’t stretch to pay for Wrath after all the ales and wenches
9. account hacked! all humour aside, I feel for you
10. suspended due to ass-hat forum comments! I hate you, re-roll hello kitty now
11. you’ve stopped to smell the roses (level slowly), and got hayfever
12. developed a new phobia where you can’t ding a level which is not a prime number
13. still looking for a healer for normal Ramparts, Nexus, or anything
14. spent all your time reading blogs and not actually playing
15. confused and intimidated by the new gear, so instead playing in Goldshire where its safer (well safe-ish, unless you count requests for 1st floor private encounters)
16. several friends just signed up to WoW and now you’re a high level steamroller to help then powerlevel
17. you can’t consider another MMO until you defeat the Fashion Derelict Boss in Barbie Online, and get your hairstyling skill to 450
18. Spent all your time WRITING blogs and not actually playing
19. Wasted time compiling your WoW Code because of TyphoonAndrew*
20. Actually read quest texts rather than just hitting accept and looking at QuestHelper*
21. Find reading Jame’s Leveling Guides more interesting than actually leveling yourself*
22. Wasted time coming up with 6 more reasons I’m not hardcore*
23. Noticed that TA lists your blog as pally-specific, wonder whether you should do anything about it and what* (hmm, ty Gwaendar – I’ll fix that. The Twisted Nether list has me in general, and a Paladin Tank used to be my main)
24. you consider love > work > games, which is also why the guys at the chess association have stopped counting on you for midnight games
25. in your industry the silly season is all about stupid deadlines and even stupider clients. silly indeed
26. the Deeprun tram is the only instance you need for your hardcore gameplay. never mind what the final boss looks like
27. the optimal build for AH farming only requires level 1 (and a few mods, and the patience of a stone)

I thought it would be horrid to make a list of the reasons you’re not 80, but its kind of fun. So feel free to add a few if there are tounge in cheek reasons I’ve missed.

I’ll add more as I think of them, send them in (marked with a * next to them)!